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Post by Jacky on Jun 30, 2006 8:52:21 GMT
"Now, luv, tha's just another reason why you should be my victim instead." I point out easily
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Post by Jacky on Jun 30, 2006 8:53:43 GMT
(Eep I didn't notice the GTG message before  bye luv! *waves*) |
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Post by Lana on Jun 30, 2006 14:12:44 GMT
"Hmph!" - I snort. - "You consider me incapable of being a mutineer?"
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Post by Jacky on Jul 1, 2006 10:38:56 GMT
(AHHH it's been too long since we big-posted here >.< Hahahaha here goes! ) I smirk and look back to her, but subconciously.. my mind is elsewhere as flashes of memories play in front of my eyes like sudden thunderbolts. The Pearl.. right here on my ship, but years - even a decade before. The laughter of the crew still rings in my ears. The mockery. Barbossa's taunting words. Standing on the very end of the plank, I was *certain* this was what hell would be like. No imagine I could previously have conjured up concerning the word 'HELL' had ever matched the fear and the utter despair as I experience it that moment. No possible inferno could have brought me down more. No fire could have hurted me in the way that moment did. No Satan could I have hated more than I hated Barbossa in that moment. Not any underworld could have brought me away further from heaven, as I was was from the Pearl.
If I would ever cry again in my life, it would be that moment. All I wanted to do was to roll up and cry like a baby, or close my eyes and simply die. I wanted to stay with my Pearl. I wanted to clutch the plank and refuse to let go - have them kill me if they so fiercily wanted my ship.
Instead of any of that.. I dived.
The water had never felt as cold, and my soul never as empty. The knife of honour was twisted and I was stabbed in the back.. and the mutinous villains that had once been my mates had brought my blood to ice and my heart to black ashes.During these memories.. I never once blinked. My eyes might have grown distant for one moment, extinguishing the fire that's in them shortly.. but other than that, there was not a hint of my thoughts on the outside. And even now, I manage to conjure a smirk onto my features. "Aye luv.. fortunately, I do." I sincerely tell her. |
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Post by Lana on Jul 1, 2006 10:58:34 GMT
( exactly! Yay for big-posting! ;D *huggles you* awwwww  it's a great post! ) Though, I felt - or, maybe, it just seemed to me? - that he remembered something hurtful, something unpleasant and painful... Maybe I really noticed it? Or simply imagined, 'cause I still remember Jack telling me all about the mutiny... I remember that evening, when we finally decided to trust each other fully, when either of us told our life story... I remember Jack's eyes when he was talking about Barbossa, about the betrayal... I remember the fire of hatred towards that villain in his eyes, and the hope to find his Pearl... I look at him seriously: "I'm not ideal, I could betray too", - I say thoughtfully and sincerely, for, hell, I'm not an angel. I've hurt people before - 'cause sometimes our interests matter more than the interests of another person. I can betray too... - "But not you", - I add quietly, in such a low voice that it's almost impossible to make out what I said. I could never betray him, even though he hurt me. I simply know that I would never be able to hurt him back. |
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Post by Jacky on Jul 1, 2006 11:06:06 GMT
I heard it though.. those three words that somehow describe what I already knew. Hell.. I know I have a loyal crew now, who'd follow me into the pits of hell. And I know I even have some close friends aboard who I could trust - Ana, Gibbs, and even Scarlett. Nonetheless.. trust is a complicated thing. And the fear of betrayal will forever be scarred into the soul of the betrayed.
"Let's hope thing'll remain that way." I mumble therefore.
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Post by Jacky on Jul 1, 2006 11:20:22 GMT
(gtg! Cya x)
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Post by Lana on Jul 1, 2006 11:20:44 GMT
"They will..." - I say quietly and immediately start feeling quite uneasy, 'cause... well, 'cause this talk about trust?.. it's somehow intimate, it's... I sigh quietly. Trust is a complicated thing, true enough... And knowing that you won't betray, doesn't guarantee that you won't *be* betrayed. Sometimes we all face the situation which seems to be the end of our life, when the ground is stolen from our feet, when there's nothing to hold on to, when the life loses its meaning and fighting for survival seems senseless. When the light around you seems to be extinguished, and you are thrown into darkness, having to decide yourself whether you can swim back onto the surface, take a deep breath of oxygen and keep on living - or you can't. And have to drown. The feeling when your life is... shattered to a million pieces.
That's what Barbossa did to Jack. That's what Jack did to me.
I snap out of my thoughts, glance at Jack, somewhat embarassed.
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Post by Jacky on Jul 1, 2006 12:40:23 GMT
I was lost in thoughts for a moment.. but when Scarlett's gaze returns to me I draw my attention back to the present as well. Her eyes meet mine, and for a moment I believe to read something I have not yet seen before. Embarasment? I have no idea what for though.. and I suppose I might not even want to find out.
I shrug my shoulders a li'll, "The most important thing, luv," I say, casually putting an arm around her shoulders and leading her towards the galley cos I think we're up for drinks, "Is t' trust yourself. Not only yourself, but *at least* yourself." I smirk, "Especially when you're about to do something incredibly stupid."
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Post by Lana on Jul 1, 2006 14:19:50 GMT
I am not going to do anything stupid, I am *not* going to do anything stupid... But I feel a pleasant shudder go down my spine when his arm embraces my shoulders... It's wrong, I shouldn't feel that... everything is different now... D@mn it... it *should* be different, I should be able to resist that charm of his, I should be able to throw the past away. But hell, I am tired of fooling myself here, striving to believe that it's possible. It's not possible. I admit it to myself. I can't forget anything, and seeing him here every day just makes me remember more and more...
I easily let him lead me to the galley, 'cause, after all, I am all for a good mug of rum. I glance at him, sideways and smirk slightly. Here I am, thinking non-stop about something that doesn't even exist - about our 'relations'... and here he is, I can bet that he absolutely forgot whatever we ever had and that I mean nothing to him.
"Yeah", - I reply to what he said before. - "And are you up for anything stupid now?" - I grin.
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bye luv! *waves*)
it's a great post! )