The Risen Horizon

[Lana]

Every word he says is like a heavy stone pounding on my head, sending me into somewhat like unconsciousness, though I am still conscious... just... everything is foggy around me, I can hardly hear what he says anymore, I can hardly see anything, I'm surrounded by nothingness, by thick white nothingness... I can't hear even the beating of my own heart, though I know it must be beating wildly in my chest...

I refuse to understand what he says. We've been through it before... I've already heard it... I've already promised that I would never be an obstacle for him... never a burden... but why? why does he have to leave me? why does it have to happen?..

I am staring fixedly at one point, somewhere in the air, just trying to realize what I have heard and trying to... what? Is there anything I can do now? Is there any use to argue? To persuade him that I won't be in his way?..

Then don't be in his way... if you love him... let him go...

"Is it... the end?" - I manage to ask, my voice hoarse.

[Jacky]

Half-expected tears or tantrums, or even a curse on my very name and soul, I'm surprised by her quick-found realization of what this all means. I'm not sure whether to be pleasently surprised though.. even anger might've been better than a question. Anger would've allowed me to close the chapter, perhaps move on more easily. But these words.. filled with regret and sorrow.. they manage to pierce my soul.

"Aye," I whisper, trying hard to rebuilt the walls around my heart as they had been, before Scarlett came along the way, "I suppose it is."

[Lana]

A lightning wouldn't be able to strike me more powerfully than these words did. I stare in front of me, at the air, quiet and silent for a while, unable to say anything, unable to *understand* anything. My mind does understand, though my heart refuses to. It can't be true... it can't be... I am dreaming, wake me up... WAKE ME UP! But I am awake... and hell, I'd give everything to make it just a nightmare, just a horrible dream... and wake up in Jack's embrace... warm, tight, loving embrace... The End. The end of everything...

As if my world were crumbling around me, everything were being destroyed, my life and dreams and love being eliminated... yet I couldn't hear the noise and the sounds... surrounded by pressing, killing silence... I didn't expect that. I didn't. And the blow came as unexpectedly as it could, at the most wrong time...

"But it can't be... it... it can't..." - I mumble to myself, not even thinking that he can hear it too. - "It can't be the end..." - I whisper, in desperate efforts to persuade myself that I am just dreaming.

Finally I gather enough strength to look at him. Though not into his eyes, I wouldn't dare. I wouldn't dare look into them, 'cause I can't bear seeing them getting distant, indifferent... it would kill me instantly. Here it is... the moment I dreaded, the moment I hoped would never come. The End. The Pearl. Choosing her over me... I could have known... if I hadn't been so deeply in love with him... I could have seen it coming, but I had refused to think about the end, hoping it would never come.

But here it is, knocking at the door. And I have to open the door. I wish I could barricade myself and never let the end come... but I have to. That's the way it has to be. The door is to be opened, we are to break up, I have to let the Sparrow free, to free him from the cage and let him find his freedom... If I truly love him, I will let him go... no matter how much it hurts me... I won't be in his way... And I won't. Because I've never loved anyone more in my life.

I'll give him his freedom.

"Will you help me to get back... up there?" - I try to sound business-like, but the tears of despair that I am trying to supress are bottling up inside my throat, forming a huge lump, and I can hardly breathe throught this lump, blocking all the oxygen. I bite my lip hard, so hard that it bleeds, yet I don't cry.

[Jacky]

She does manage to sound rather businesslike, but her appearance betrays how she feels in a way that I wish it would not. It would've been easier, MUCH easier, if we could settle the technical details of our breakup such as these and move on. But I know it won't be quite as easy.. I know that the path we are to follow -we BOTH are to follow, but in seperate directions- is still long ahead of us. And that's what unsettles me most. Before I had ever loved, whatever was ahead of me seemed to be adventure and danger, and I faced it with an optimistic grin on my face. But now.. now that the path ahead is started off with an heartache, I fear it'll be long before I refind that confidence. I suppose that's why there's no use in trying to act careless.. and without warning I put my arms around her suddenly, pulling her into my embrace. Without words. But just.. doing what seems to be needed.

[Hannah]

(*teary eyes* )

[Lana]

( me too... I am actually almost crying now )

When he does so, I breathe in sharply, almost gasping, having expected it least of all. Whenever there was tension between us, Jack chose to remain distant, to pretend he didn't care in the slightest... but now... I wish I could push him away from me, I wish I had enough strength to make him back away... I don't want to feel this embrace, because I know it is the *last* one. The last moment when I can feel his warmth, the beating of his heart against mine, feel his soft breathe on my skin... I wish the *last* embrace had never come...

And yet, I am too weak to push him away. I've tried to sound businesslike, to take it calmly, but now this simple gesture - hugging me - broke the walls I've been desperately trying to build, and all the flood of emotions couldn't be held inside anymore...

My head drops onto his shoulder, and I embrace him tight, as tight as I can, wishing I could never let him go. Saying nothing, I just sob quietly into his shoulder for a while, my heart beating wildly, all my body trembling... It's not just Jack leaving me. It's my freedom living me, my sense of life... my life itself.

I have nowhere to go without you... I have no reasons to live without you... I am lost without you... - is my silent pleading, though, surely, I won't say it to him. I can't. I must let him free, and I must try to make it less problematic... even though... even though it's tearing my heart apart.

"C-could you..." - I mutter, finally raising my head from his shoulder and facing him, - "... give me..." - I take a breath. Shut up... don't be stupid, it's the end! What do you need it for?! Why the hell do it now? When everything is already over? - "... the last kiss?" - I whisper so quietly that my words can hardly be heard. And as soon as the last sound escapes my lips, I regret it deeply. Stupid...

[Jacky]

Her request surprised me.. as I had speculated earlier, I had sooner expected a slap or a tantrum instead of this. But I guess Scarlett realizes the same as I do.. there's no use in being cold and harsh if it's REALLY the last time. Because I'd regret it later, and I suppose she would too.

I bring a hand to her cheek, softly stroking it before I bring my thumb to her bottomlip which I trace slowly, my eyes fixated on it.

The last? Probably. But nothing's impossible. And I suppose that even IF that's a false hope, it's better than no hope at all.

"Never say it's the last, luv." I whisper to her, and then I lean in and kiss her lips with more love and tenderness than I have ever before. Aye, broken (bended) hearts can make men weak. I've experienced it now. Hell, I am experiencing it this very moment. But I suppose a bended heart is better than a heart that never knew what love was in the first place.

[Lana]

I kiss him back, at first unsurely, but then giving in to my grief and my broken heart, kissing him deeply, gently, passionately... and desperately at the same time. Realizing that this kiss is the last...
Feeling his lips on mine for the last time.
Giving my love to him for the last time.
Being happy for the last time.
Living... my last moments.

Finally the kiss has to be broken... the bonds still connecting us have to be cut... the Sparrow has to soar high in the sky, free from his burden. And there's a weird feeling in my heart... there's *no* feeling at all. I am numb, empty, drained.

So that's how it feels? That's how the End feels? The world hasn't crashed? I feel nothing, as if I had no heart anymore... but true enough, I don't have it. I gave my whole heart to Jack... he has it now.

"But it is..." - I whisper, - "it is the last one". I stand up determinedly and turn my back on him, looking upwards, to the surface of the water. Some time passes in silence, but then I finally find enough strength to speak up, though my voice is hoarse and somewhat muffled.

"Thank you for... everything. Now go, find your Pearl, your Freedom. I want you to... be happy, with or without me. If it has to be so. There's not much I could do, right? Right... But... remember me? Just once in a while..."

(( haha, I thought of a soundtrack sorry, if it's too crazy ))

Think of me, think of me fondly
When we've said good-bye...
Remember me once in a while,
Please, promise me you'll try.

[Jacky]

"I can't see how I couldn't." I promise her. I then take a deep breath and nod, more to myself than to her - since she can't see it anyways. This is it then. Leaving the path I was following, making my own footsteps in a completely different direction.

"I'll find Faith to bring us back." I tell her, my voice still soft, "..I'll ask 'r to bring ye to the ship, and me to the nearest port. I suppose that's the easiest fer both of us."

(gotta go now! Adios!)

[Lana]

( ta, honey! I won't sleep at night 'cause of RH!!! )

"The easiest?" - I smirk lop-sidedly. - "It's not the easiest, Jack..." - I say quietly and sigh heavily. I know what's the easiest... and the best way-out... and the only one I feel so empty now... nothing matters anymore... nothing. There's nothing ahead, nothing to look forward to, nothing to live for... nothing to breathe for, nothing to wait for, nothing to hope for.

NOTHING.

We're two strangers to each other now... it's weird... half an hour ago I thought we would be together forever. Now we're parting. Forever. Half an hour ago I loved him with all my heart. Now there's no heart to love with. It's shattered to a million pieces. Half an hour I hoped to leave this place as soon as possible. Now I hope to leave this life as soon as I can.

Every moment of this 'distance' from Jack is killing me even more... so this is the end... I can't believe it... I can't! It couldn't have happened! I finally realize that my godd@mn life IS over. He's a stranger to me, not *my* Jack anymore... he's leaving me!.. I am alone in this hell-world... alone as can be...

And the heart is numb no more. The despair is tearing me from the inside, and I can't hold it back any longer. I slide down on the ground, embrace my knees with my arms and hide my face, tears streaming down my cheeks, my shoulders shaking uncontrollably. It feels like I am going to die. Right here and now. It would be better than seeing him and realizing that... our paths lead in different directions now.