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Post by Jacky on Oct 17, 2006 6:56:19 GMT
I give her a faint, half bitter smile. "Pirate." I say, implying that all I say is *supposed* to be a lie. I look over to the candle that's burning on her nightstand, thoughtfully turning the ring around my indexfinger. I should tell her the story. So at least she'll know. But somehow that doesn't seem profitable to me at all. I narrow my eyes in thoughts, countering cons and pro's till eventually I give it a mental shrug. "She'll be comin' along." I break the news instead of telling her the history of it.
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Post by Nikki on Oct 17, 2006 11:49:14 GMT
"You know," I say thoughtfully, noticing Jack in his reverie, "you've more than proved that the past is indeed not gone in the past few hours." I find it strange how hard it is to be hinting I want to know these things now. I keep withdrawing myself, because I feel that I'm not a part of this anymore. In my eyes, there is only place for one woman, no matter what her purpose may be.
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Post by Jacky on Oct 18, 2006 14:25:47 GMT
"Well, that came to quite a surprise to me as well." I mumble, protesting against what seems to be her judgement on the situation. Which is, in itself, rediculous. I have no reason to defend myself here cos I simply did nothing wrong. Rae is a completely different story, and far away from the whole Cassandra-affairs. She's not involved with this. But still have have an inexplicable urge to stand my ground here, to point out that it's just a twist of fate rather than my actual fault. Do I want Rae to belief this? There's no denying it. The reason why is still one enigma to me though, and I'm not entirely sure I care to find out.
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Post by Nikki on Oct 18, 2006 21:14:33 GMT
By now I've come to learn that you can't expect a panther boy to carry you out of the forest or even just a pirate to escort you, bruised and bleeding, from a tavern. We make our own ways in this world, and it is the saddest thing. Sometimes there is just no one you can count on.
But I've got to. "I have a feeling I shouldn't meddle," I state the obvious. "I feel like a fifth wheel."
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Post by Jacky on Oct 19, 2006 16:51:43 GMT
"Those come in handy quite often yknow." I offer, trying to cheer her up and look at this on a bright side. Well.. less dark side is more like it.
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Post by Nikki on Oct 19, 2006 21:46:56 GMT
"I doubt it." I say flatly. "I was always one to think everything happens for a reason, until now. What's the purpose in me being here, if nothing good will come of it in the end? I can think of only one other time I've felt so useless." I think about it for a moment before saying anything, but continue because I know he is going to con it out of me anyway. "On my eleventh birthday, when my mother and I had just gotten word of father's death. I remember later that day, my mother tried to run in the water and I had to hold her back. I knew she would have walked right into the ocean after him and kept going. In a way, I wanted to go, too."
I think about my father, his gentleness and kindness even though he was a slave trader and a rogue. . .and how I'd thought it was the extinguishing of the last candle, the beginning of the end. There would be no more room for happiness.
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Post by Jacky on Oct 20, 2006 7:19:53 GMT
"Maybe it's a good thing that you didn't." I say, looking at her seriously now. "If everything does happen with a reason, then I'm sure you'll find out yours sooner rather than later.. You might already have."
I wouldn't dare to put it in that many words.. but she already *did*, to me. I don't see her as a way to get something, as a tool for a higher goal.. That's not the kind of reason I have in mind. Lately I've just been thinking maybe.. very maybe.. she's the goal in itself. The longer she's here the less timid she gets. And the more I seem to appreciate her daily.
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Post by Nikki on Oct 20, 2006 12:11:18 GMT
"What might my reason be, do you think?" I want him to say it. I want to know it, to know that my vision of those two people on the beach with the birds of paradise is true. That there is a purpose, after all.
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Post by Jacky on Oct 20, 2006 14:43:12 GMT
Our gazes stayed locked for a long time.. but I don't open my mouth to answer. I can't. I don't know whether I would've if Cassandra had never shown, but right now it just seems too vague and too complicated to get myself into a fix like that. ...maybe I am afraid to confess anything that actually matters. Maybe I'm afraid of letting anyone near me enough to actually get to me. Whatever the reason may be, the reply just doesn't leave my lips.
So eventually I shrug my shoulders, my eyes diverting from hers and finding their way to the candle again.
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Post by Nikki on Oct 22, 2006 21:56:23 GMT
And now I know that something just has to be incredibly wrong. "Jack Sparrow has nothing to say." The tone could've been teasing if I weren't actually concerned. Until now he'd *always* had something c.ocky to offer when I'd asked him a question. "Answer me something." I pull my knees up to my chin and hide my face, feeling that my hair just won't be a sufficient thing to conceal me at the moment. "Do you. . .still love her?" Right now I'm not sure if this will be just one more thing to add to my long list of regrets.
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