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Post by Jacky on Oct 26, 2006 21:48:38 GMT
"How the hell does she do that?" I ask. I mean, all she did tonight was yell at me and slap the hell outta me. I don't see how that could've possibly affected Rae..
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Post by Jacky on Oct 26, 2006 22:01:30 GMT
(tg! *wave*)
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Post by Nikki on Oct 26, 2006 22:23:46 GMT
"I've no idea, but she scares the hell out of me," I say bluntly. "Especially now that she'll want her darts back, I have the excuse of not owning anything to defend myself with." I dismiss it with an idle gesture, the comment having no importance to me whatsoever, knowing it was a lie, not caring. She'd still "scare" me, whether or not I had her darts.
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Post by Ans on Oct 27, 2006 5:25:24 GMT
I look at her carefully, no longer showing any anger.. but just observing her for a minute passing by. "Rae.." I then start, glancing at her face while she's still looking away from me. I'm not sure why I speak up. I suppose I just want Rae to feel at ease, unlike she does now. The reason why is an enigma, even to me, but I seem t' want to protect this girl more often than what's good for me.
"...When I met Cassandra she was a bloody shadow of what she is now." I tell her. "She was a wreck. Afraid of the world. When she was aboard the ship for two weeks I told her I'd drop her of in the next port, cos she was simply of no use aboard. That's when she started changing." I pause shortly, frowning slightly as I warily observe any reaction from the girl in front of me. "She toughened up. She became a pirate much quicker than I've ever seen anyone change. But each night she confessed to me that it was fear that drove her on. ...That very same fear that she gives you now."
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Post by Nikki on Oct 27, 2006 12:19:03 GMT
"And so. . .you think if you threaten to drop me off at the next port, I'm going to. . ." I think about what it would be like if he actually did do that. My heart aches at the mere thought. "What was she more afraid of; being on her own, or losing you?" I still don't look at him. The thought of doing so is unbearable.
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Post by Jacky on Oct 27, 2006 18:35:29 GMT
"...She knew I wasn't hers." I mumble, once again defending myself. "She knew it all along. Don't think I made her think anything else."
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Post by Nikki on Oct 27, 2006 21:09:21 GMT
This enlightens the situation for a moment. "I'd always had the impression that it was-" I cross my fingers to show him what I mean-"both of you. . .together. It just made sense." Could he be lying? I'd never been one to be subject to paranoia, so this was decidedly not the case. When he was telling the truth, you could see the honesty in his eyes. But then I remember his words from the tavern- How would it feel to pull that trigger now? And to step over your former lover's dead body. . . and this doesn't make sense. Then the pieces click together. No one owns him, no matter what the relationship is. As I paused to think over this, a look of recognition comes upon my face at the sudden epiphany, and I hope he gets what I'm trying to puzzle in my head without me having to say it. Just once.
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Post by Jacky on Oct 28, 2006 8:05:02 GMT
I look at her for a long time, even after she spoke. And by the look on her face I can tell that she eventually understands what I implied all along. Nobody owns me - and I own nobody on this world. That's the way it's been in the years that past. That's the way I expect the future to be in the years that are to come.
Girls - ah, even Cassandra - they come and go. Each of them willing to stay by my side, trying to change me. Trying to commit me. Each of them are doomed to understand eventually that my heart is not for me to give away. It's already gone - with the sea, with the Pearl, with a pirate's life. I've already fallen in love desperately with each of them. What use is there trying to get to a man who doesn't own his own heart?
I never regret it. Never. Me and the Pearl and the swell of the sea, that's enough for me. Though lately, with Rae presence here, I sometimes had the urge to reconsider said priorities. How badly do I want to see her strong? How badly do I want to see her shine, like I'm sure she once did? Is that love? Who am I to judge, when I know nothing of love? So far I resigned this urge to curiosity. I'm not sure whether I want to find out the truth about it one day..
Eventually I turn my gaze away from Rae, allowing my mind to come back from this musing. "It's dangerous to take things for granted, luv." I mumble, finally answering her again, "That's what Cassandra found out as well."
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Post by Nikki on Oct 28, 2006 12:48:16 GMT
I'm seeing Jack and this whole situation in a new light now. . .and I'm almost disappointed that it makes me love him even more. "Well," I smile at him honestly, "I'm not going to live like Cassandra did. Not exactly. I'm almost positive I'll never try to kill you, no matter what you do." That should be a comforting notion.
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Post by Jacky on Oct 28, 2006 13:02:50 GMT
I smirk, looking back to her. "Luv.." I pause, considering. "....I like you." I tell her. "If anything, I should probably tell you to forget 'bout me." I warn her. It'll be the only warning I'm gonna give her. I'm not a simpleton. She's a pretty girl, and I'd be a fool for not wanting *her* by my side. But nonetheless, I know that it'll eventually turn into a disappointment for her. She'll think she can change me, like the rest of them did. And she won't. So the least I can do is to give her a warning in advance.
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