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Post by Nikki on Dec 30, 2006 17:17:07 GMT
Shit. "I'm sick, if you haven't noticed," I lie, turning to him, puffy-eyed from crying. And there is no way I'm telling him until I'm ready. I flinch at him, disgusted with myself. "I think I ruined your wash basin."
What am I to do? Squeezing my eyes shut, I try to stop the tears, but unrelenting, they keep coming.
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Post by Jacky on Dec 30, 2006 17:36:19 GMT
I go over and crouch by her side, undisturbed by the disgust that she does seem to have. I pay no mind to the wash basin, but keep my gaze on her instead. She does look pale, and she's shaking..
I frown slightly and put the back of my right hand against her forehead. I'm hardly a doctor, but I can tell whether she's feverish or not. She's not very warm so I suppose that's a good sign.
"Are you gonna be sick again or can you make it over to the bed?" I question, as I get up and offer her my hand for support.
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Post by Nikki on Dec 30, 2006 17:44:20 GMT
Oh, it won't last long. I stand up shakily, trying to ignore his touch. The frazzled nerves aren't from sickness, but total shock and disbelief. Barely making it to the bed before my legs give out, I just sit on the edge with my hand on my forehead. "I can't believe this," I whisper.
This must be the hell of a confusion to Jack. . .it's not like no one has ever had the flu in the world before.
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Post by Jacky on Dec 30, 2006 17:54:58 GMT
I shrug, "Happens t' the best of us." I brush that off, obviously not having a clue 'bout what's really going on.. and I have no reason to suspect anything either. She's talking a good story here, and nothing points to the contrary.
I make her lay down on the bed. She still seems shaky, so after putting the blanket over her I crouch by her side.
I wouldn't easily worry about another human being, but when that being happens to be Rae, I would like the assurement that she's going to be alright.
"Are you cold?" I frown, "I can ask Gibbs t' check on you, luv, he's better a lot better at this than me."
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Post by Nikki on Dec 30, 2006 18:02:38 GMT
"Do you think I want Gibbs this close to my face?" I smile halfheartedly at him, hating this lie already.
He should know, little bird. He deserves it.
And that isn't any instinct; that comes in my father's deep, gentle accent. What I would give to be a child again, safe in my father's arms, the smell of his cherry tobacco thick in the air.
"Jack. ..I . .."
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Post by Jacky on Dec 30, 2006 18:08:06 GMT
"Jest sleep then, alrigh'?" I don't let her finish the sentence she started. I give her a slight grin, and brush a lock of hair out of her face. "Take some rest an' ye'll be fine again. Savvy?"
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Post by Nikki on Dec 30, 2006 18:13:15 GMT
"Alright." For a moment I thank the bigheadedness men sometimes find themselves wallowing in.
I know I can't lie awake, so I force myself to relax. Somehow I dread the thought of being tired tomorrow, and besides, worrying has led to complete exhaustion.
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Post by Jacky on Dec 30, 2006 18:20:40 GMT
(gone now! Happy newyears!)
As soon as Rae closed her eyes I get up again. I walk over to the desk and secure both my old logbook and her diary inside the drawer, closing it carefully. Then I glance over to the bed. I wonder how much I'll sleep tonight, knowing that she might get sick again.
I consider spending the rest of the night to finish that map I was making, but then I figure I'd wake up anyway if she'd do anything too crazy. So I might as well try and get some rest myself until she does.
I kick of my boots and chuck my shirt aside before I get into the bed next to her.
It takes me at least another hour before sleep overwhelms me though.. there's too much on my mind. Most of what should long be forgotten...
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Post by Nikki on Dec 30, 2006 18:34:52 GMT
Despite my best efforts to sleep, I wake up slightly before sunrise. . .gratefully feeling a lot better, for now. But emotionally and mentally, I'm a total wreck.
I just can't lay there next to Jack any longer, so I quietly slip out of bed and out the door, up the stairs and down to the aft side where few people are this early in the morning.
How had I missed this for so long?
To be fair to myself, my body has always had a will of its own, and particularily at sea it pays hardly any attention to clocks or calendars. And so I hadn't thought I was being shown anything more than my usual waywardness. The signs were there. I hadn't noticed. Or wouldn't, maybe. . .but now I have to.
And for now it's not only myself I have to think of. There's two of us now. The baby, which is part of me and part of Jack- well it's all the more precious for that.
So what now? I've been asking that question an awful lot to myself in the past twelve hours.
Take care of yourself.
And now I find I've put a hand over my waist. Yes, of course, there is a difference. I can sense it now.
"'Twill be alright, kid," I murmur. "It'll be fine as sunny days. It has to be."
(Ah, didn't see that before, bye and Happy New Years :nodding: :poke: )
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Post by Cassandra on Dec 30, 2006 20:44:26 GMT
Once the morning reaches us, Im still in a dream-like state. I didnt sleep much at all. Though I was away in my thoughts most of the time I could still hear her... and Jack.
I dont know what was going on between them, but it still makes me feel awkard.
I hate him.
I go back updecks, wiping my eyes and trying to avoid yawning a little as I get to work.
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