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Post by Daz on Mar 17, 2009 14:53:05 GMT
We get home a few minutes later and as we head up to the door I just get more and more nervous. He seems pretty… blank about the whole thing. Not remorseful, not sympathetic, just blank. Usually I can read Jack’s character pretty well, but right now, in such a tense string of moments, I see nothing there but that familiar face of his, frowning constantly, and avoiding eye contact for too long.
When we get inside I don’t go looking for the kids. I head straight upstairs and hope that he follows. Wanting to get things back to normal as quickly as possible.
This is the worst start to a new year that I can ever remember. Even back when everything was falling apart for me, I could at least get drunk and forget it all. Last night was far too real. And so is today. Even though he’s sober, I feel as if I’m the only one that’s all here.
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Post by Jacky on Mar 17, 2009 15:24:57 GMT
No wonder, cos I'm pretty distracted by the headache. But when we get upstairs together, and go to our bedroom for the sake of privacy, I try hard to keep my thoughts with the current situation. It's bad enough as it is, after all. Once we're alone, I turn to face her. Not sure how to begin this. "Okay.. so.."  |
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Post by Daz on Mar 17, 2009 15:27:09 GMT
I stand there and stare at him silently for a while before my gaze diverts around the room, uncomfortabley.. "So.. Do you still think Natalie isn't attracted to you?"
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Post by Jacky on Mar 17, 2009 15:31:59 GMT
Her question sorta surprises me.. In my state of mind, and I hadn't even thought about that.
"...I don't know." I frown, taken aback by this. "I.. definately didn't see that coming last night. I don't know what that was about." I pause, and glance over to Anouk, "Just know that I pulled back, okay? I didn't kiss her, technically."
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Post by Daz on Mar 17, 2009 15:33:23 GMT
"So what are you going to do then?" I mumble, going to sit on the side of the bed, "What are you going to do about it?"
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Post by Jacky on Mar 17, 2009 15:40:51 GMT
I keep standing, leaning against the dressing table as I think about it.
Fuck. I mean, it's not that big a surprise that Natalie is attracted to me. I had just thought she'd be better at acting like just a friend.. After all, when Anouk became my girlfriend she should know that was the limit.
Now, it's gonna be messed up though. That careful balance that allowed Natalie and me to hang out and stay as close as before (and her to work for me too) had just tipped over.
"I'll.. talk to her." I frown slightly, considering it. "...But.. she knows I have you. And that I don't want that to change. So. Fuck. I don't know what last night was about."
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Post by Daz on Mar 17, 2009 15:44:27 GMT
".. She hates me." I state, casually, "She's always such a bitch to me. And you always just ignore it."
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Post by Jacky on Mar 17, 2009 15:49:31 GMT
"I'll talk to her, okay? She's gotta pull her act together or fuck off." I mumble. I know this was sorta the last straw, and if I have to choose between Anouk or Natalie.. Then fuck. The choice should be easily made. I don't like it though. This is just majorly messed up.
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Post by Daz on Mar 17, 2009 15:51:15 GMT
I nod a little, glad about that. ".. And, uh.. Yeah. I-I didn't really.. drink anything. It was just a sip, and there was barely any alcohol in it. And.. uh. Yeah, the rest just went all over her." I explain. |
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Post by Jacky on Mar 17, 2009 15:55:06 GMT
I sigh, taking a second to recapulate. Right. Next chunk of the problem: the drinking bit.
"You shouldn't have been drinking at all." I mumble. This is the point that really bothered me last night. Because her drinking is an issue way beyond her and me, it involves a baby who's barely even there yet.
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